I remember, years ago, when I hurt my lower back. In that time I had no clue what happened to me but I felt so lost. I thought to my self, I never did anything. So when I went through this experience, I felt so lost and no where to turn too. Pain can mess with the mind. I would never call in sick to work. The feeling of calling my job to say that I needed help with my back was absolutely horrible. I injured my left SI joint on a very light leg workout day. I had a little soreness/achiness nothing to really say anything about. I was so use to a heavy training day and thought it would just go away just like any other time. I did sleep that night but when I woke up the next morning. The pain that went through my body was unbelievable. I remember wanting to go to the bathroom and not being able to move because of the extreme pain of my lower back. Trembling on my hands and knees, I crawled into my bathroom. Thinking what am I going to do? I have to go to work! I can’t call in sick.
What was to come was unbelievable. The clinics, therapy, I told my doctor. Don’t you ever say “surgery”, I never want to hear you say that, don’t even think it! I didn’t want, nor did I take medication, to me that was not an answer, period.
In that time, I would say only one thing really helped me, that was acupuncture with doctor Jason Tsing. Doctor Tsing use to office in Arlington and today he offices here in Grapevine. My chiropractic visits were extremely painful and the chiropractor was always saying to me. Your right leg is shorter than your left leg. And my right hip was rotated forward. My question is, why do you keep telling me, that my right hip is rotated forward? And why is my right leg is shorter than my left leg?
The confusion, pain and sleepless nights had their toll on me. The thoughts that went through my mind are, well let’s just say it’s not positive. It is so easy to think of the worst. I really thought that I would end up in a wheelchair and have back problems for the rest of my life.
Along with the pain I had also lost feeling and movement of my left lower leg. From my left knee to my toes, the feeling and movement was completely gone. This came shortly after the back injury. My thoughts and feelings were, what’s going on with me?!?
It’s amazing all of the different treatments and everyone had a different answer or approach. My sister was always saying that I needed a massage. I would always say to her, “I don’t want a massage, much less I will Never have a massage with a man!” She would tell me to take my mom with me to the massage. My response, “I am not taking my mom to any massage appointment. Much less I will Never have a massage with a man! Two guys in a room and I’m naked, that will never happen! If I get a massage it’s going to be from a woman and not from just any woman. She has to be pretty!” Of course I have learned, this was twenty years ago but I have seen so many men that are the same as I was twenty years ago. Pain is very humbling and what I said I would never do. I did, my first massage was with a very big guy at the Q in Arlington. This is a gym close to the Parks Mall and today it’s a 24 Fitness.
Having a massage with a man, something I thought I would Never do. Well you’ve got it, pain is a strong motivator. I remember feeling so embarrassed, uncomfortable and just plain weird. This is wrong, this is wrong, two guys in a room with me naked and I’m getting a massage? I remember when I finally let go of this feeling, I thought, “you’re in a professional place. If he was going to do anything inappropriate, he would have already done it. You have a problem with your thinking and you have a problem with your body.” In that moment I knew that if someone could work on my muscles and could stretch my body. Someone out there could help me. But who? I thought it’s you. Only you know what it’s like to hurt and to look for help. It’s you and of course I’m thinking oh no, it’s not me. In that moment I let go and realized something so powerful. I had to do something for me and for other people. Pain is a very strong motivator and it has driven me the past 20 years to help a lot of people. Many times I have felt as if I’ve only began.
I totally surrendered, that’s not as easy as it sounds but I said Ok. I’m going to do something for me and I’m going to help a lot of people. I had no clue of anything but I knew that I no longer was going to live with this pain. That day was actually a great massage. The massage therapist never did hurt me and I really did need a massage that day. In fact, I came back for several more massage treatments. And for me that was really odd.
The thoughts that went through my mind were not very positive. It is so easy to think of the worst. Fear and worry are very strong feelings but they are just that, a feeling. Healing is a process and it’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s understanding how our bodies work or should I really say, Heal. We can help our body to heal and we can take control over our own mind. I have had many injuries and have overcome every single one of them. Yes I will be writing about the healing process. It is just that, a process. The second any part of the body is hurt or has an injury. The body goes to work to heal, fix or repair what has been injured. The brain, muscle, tendon, ligament, cartilage or a nerve, our body is amazing and does what it was created to do. I have personally dealt with a left SI joint injury with loss of movement/feeling of my left anterior lower leg. I do not have any problems with my back or left leg. Later I will explain other injuries that I have had and have overcome. Today I have no issues with any part of my body.
I am very proactive to take care of myself in every aspect of life.